1. I’d like to set the record straight since I’m certain she will be telling a different story.
2. I’m hoping doing so will help me make peace with it.
For some background information, I met my future husband in 2019. In February of 2020 we celebrated a year of dating. In March the world shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I didn’t see my now fiancé for months. I have asthma and anxiety which, as it turns out, are a rough combo when a respiratory illness sweeps the world. He has the patience of a saint and stuck with me through months of Zoom dates. To be fair, he couldn’t really go looking for anyone else but still.
We moved in together during a pandemic. We got engaged months later and the illness had only spread. Fortunately, there was a vaccine rolling out. It was great. We’d be able to have a wedding and hopefully not give any guests COVID. So, we made a decision. We decided that for the safety of ourselves and our guests we would require all guest to be vaccinated. It was the first decision we made after I said yes. We told our family as we called to share the happy news of our engagement. My mother responded with “well I’m not getting the vaccine.”
I guess I should have known then that she wouldn’t be there. But I foolishly maintained hope that she would change her mind as the vaccine gained FDA approval and was proven effective at keeping people safe. After all, her grandchildren will be there. Surely, she would want to keep them safe. Unfortunately, none of this matters to her. She’s so far down the right-wing, conspiracy theory, rabbit hole that she can’t see beyond her own mindset. She can’t care about anyone other than herself.
I made my choice. She made hers. And as much as I wish she would change her decision, I also know she probably won't. And I know I won't. I'm confident that my fiancé and I have made the most responsible choice. We're choosing to take whatever steps we can to make our wedding safe for our guests. And if that means alienating some of our friends and family it's a choice we can live with.
So yeah, my mother won’t be at my wedding. She’s alive and well and choosing to do this. I hope skipping her daughter's wedding is a choice she can live with. And if you know both of us, and she tells you any differently, this is the reason she won't be there. She was invited. She was wanted. She made her choice and won’t be there. She has chosen to prioritize whatever views she thinks she's standing for over being there with and for me on my wedding day.
